[guide] at that time, I still thought that love was paramount, and sex was just like responsibility, which was also the entry condition of love. Since you want a boyfriend, you have to pay, because men need sex, which is the price. I’ve always thought so. It’s very rustic, isn’t it!
Every time we met, he used an excuse to sleep with me, saying that he would open my heart. I was “educated” by him in this way, and I also opened myself up and began to enjoy sex slowly. At first, I didn’t react very much to his escapade, but I couldn’t resist it. Later, after many close contacts, my body began to become different
first love dislikes me sexual apathy
Now I think about it, maybe I have a problem with my sexual psychology, so I drove both my boyfriends away.
I met my first love in college when I was 20 years old. He had many girlfriends before me and had a lot of sexual experience. I always care about this. I think he is a very flowery and pornographic man. However, everyone’s first love is a little blind, reckless and at a loss. At that time, I couldn’t help myself. Knowing that he would get tired of me sooner or later, I still kept him and gave everything to me. However, when he had a relationship with me, he began to change. The woman who gets the hand is no longer popular, is that right? I can’t figure it out.
Finally, he said that I was cold-blooded, like a little girl compared with other women, and could not mention his passion, so he proposed to break up. In fact, I know that he has already taken a fancy to another girl. How can it not be negative and self abased to be criticized by men like this? What’s more, I’m a traditional girl. Where can I get the sexual provocation skills to meet the lusty men?
I cried for him and myself for 360 days. When my heart began to calm down, I had spent my youth and went out to work.
At that time, I still thought that love was paramount, and that sex was just like responsibility, which was also the entry condition for love. Since you want a boyfriend, you have to pay, because men need sex, which is the price. I’ve always thought so. It’s very rustic, isn’t it!
The female friends around me are better than me. Some of them control several men at the same time, and make them want to be immortals with their bodies. How can they escape; Some of them and their loved ones have become like fish in water, ready to get married and have children. But I am like a country girl who has never seen the world, without the kind of sex appeal they say. Although my education and vision are not superficial, I just look like a bumpkin.
In the first spring rain last year, one morning one month after I transferred to my second job, I met another boy. He influenced my attitude towards sex and planted my broken body and mind.
the desire instinct is opened.
He is one of my clients. He is young, handsome and westernized. He seems to be the type that any girl will fantasize about. In particular, he deliberately does not look at you directly, but lets you know that he is paying attention to your look. Like other female colleagues, I am fascinated by him. At that time, I thought that I had no chance to have anything with him because my conditions were not strong. I can only love him secretly. But I didn’t expect that he would pursue me. Within two days, I was completely captured.
I thought that men liked girls’ simple sexual thoughts, so I confessed to him at the beginning that my ex boyfriend thought I was cold and abandoned me. Unexpectedly, he didn’t mind me, but felt that I should be open, so he tried to sexually tease me, saying that he wanted to help me open myself, open up my desires and sexual instincts.
I can’t even dream of meeting a man who can help me like this. I also hope to open myself up, because I love him very much and hope to further develop with him. I don’t want old thoughts and shadows to affect my relationship with him.
Every time we met, he used an excuse to sleep with me, saying that he would open my heart. I was “educated” by him in this way, and I also opened myself up and began to enjoy sex slowly. At first, I didn’t react very much to his escapade, but I didn’t resist it. Later, after many close contacts, my body began to become different.
In the past, he had a strong sexual desire for me. Once he saw me alone, he wanted to. Later, as soon as I saw him, I wanted him to kiss me and caress my body. The feeling of being caressed is very enjoyable. I miss the feeling that he hugs me and touches my body. We often have sex and sleep together for many nights. Because of this, I love him even more. I look forward to seeing him every day. Gradually, I become crazy about his possessiveness. I can’t stand his business trip and work, and the loneliness of not having him around me in the middle of the night.
blindly attached to his body
Also because of this, I began to get angry. I was frantic to know where he was and when we could meet. In fact, there have been problems between me and him. We can’t communicate well. I even suspect that he only looked at my body at the beginning, not loved me.
When we meet, we make love. After the heat, we no longer have the energy and need to chat. I am attached to his body. As long as he holds me, I don’t have to think about anything.
I admit that I have been running away from it. There are many discordances between us when we get along. He regards work as the first priority. He has no intention to marry me. He likes to chat online, and my sense of security drops to zero. Even when he was around, I was very nervous about his phone. I was afraid that he had an affair and that he would leave.
I also secretly checked his call records and found some women’s names and intimate messages that I didn’t know. I went crazy and questioned him. He said that I was careless, but I didn’t expect that he would actually take the opportunity to say to me that he could not take care of me during this period. I put too much pressure on him.
I don’t understand. I love him. I’m not wrong. I just keep pushing him to implement our relationship. In the end, he can’t stand it and thinks I’m bored. He proposes to separate. But I have never accepted it. I call him to annoy him. Finally, he doesn’t answer my phone. I understand that most of the problems with him are caused by me, but I just can’t let go of him. I don’t want to lose him. I always ask to meet him, but when I meet him, I hope and bother him. As a result, our entangled relationship keeps repeating.
after breaking up, I was greedy for his tenderness
He said that the more I wanted to see him, the less he wanted to see me.
I don’t know why he has this idea. I always feel that he is deliberately against me, so I always feel that he still loves me. Maybe I am just deceiving myself, but when I want to give up, I will always let him know some unhappy things about me and hope that he will care, and then I will have hope.
Am I stupid! I have been pestering with him for several months, and finally we are completely separated.
Now we’ve been separated for three months, but I’m not used to living without him, and I still don’t want to accept him. I really want to know everything about him, and I want him back. More importantly, I still want to have sex with him.
In a word, everything is over. Last month, he admitted to me that he had been with another woman for more than half a year. He told me to give up and thought I took too much care of him. God, he still turned his back on me, like my first love. Is this my destiny? I have been with him for more than a year. How can I say that I am divided and that I will change?
I’m very sad, but I’m still attached to my sexual relationship with him. I even thought about calling him out to make love without asking for anything else. Men will not resist the sexual invitation sent to their door. Am I mean?
Although he is no longer there, my body will unconsciously want sex. At night, I will think of the feeling when two people were together and I miss it very much. I don’t know how to deal with this physiological desire.
Leave a Reply