Some girls maintain an ambiguous relationship with many men, like socialites in the old era, who hover among men of all colors, flirting and entangled. Maybe they will gain some short-term benefits, but they will inevitably get the “elegant name” of water-based showbiz. Of course, Mr. Right will retreat, and those men who casually take advantage of her will not respect and appreciate her from the bottom of their hearts. They will give up easily if they get it easily. Then, how can we maintain an appropriate degree with friends of the opposite sex, not exceeding the scope of friendship, but also maintaining good development? If you master some proper methods and skills, you will be invincible.
1、 Think positively, maintain confidence in men, and believe that there are absolutely many good men in the world.
Some women doubt everything. Just open your mouth and shut your mouth. None of men is good! This kind of argument makes them look at men with tinted glasses, and they can’t get along with the opposite sex with a normal attitude, either too close or too sparse. Whenever someone says this, I think of my father, my brother and my husband.
If you want to know what “good men” are, look at their faces, which are full of integrity, sincerity and kindness. This will never disappoint the opposite sex in my life. Maybe I’m lucky, but I believe that the majority of good men in the world. Only when you communicate with the opposite sex in a positive way can you maintain a normal and balanced attitude and have a foundation for sound development.
2、 Treat him from an equal perspective.
This is a society where men have the initiative and the right to make decisions. For the sake of work, maybe we need to deal with some high-ranking members of the opposite sex. At this time, keep an equal perspective to communicate with him. Don’t be intimidated by his title, status, reputation and other prominent things. People have different status, but they are all equal in personality. They don’t have to be dwarfs, cringe, flatter, grovel or even flatter.
You should know that such a man sees too many servile faces, and such behavior will only make him despise you and despise you. Treat him as an equal person, be generous, neither humble nor overbearing, and show his own advantages, so as to win his attention and attention.
3、 When I first started dating, I tried to listen more and talk less.
It’s enough to point out one or two words at the right time to prove your standard. Men, especially those who claim to be excellent and outstanding, generally have a strong desire to express themselves, and do not like to see a woman show off her teeth and claws in front of him.
Encourage him to express more and guide him in due time. It’s like the “laughing” in crosstalk. Fill in a sentence at the turning point: what happened later? Let him have the interest to continue his speech. If you encourage him with your eyes and nod your head, he will feel very satisfied if you listen carefully. A good conversation is often not how much you say, but how much you listen to, and give the opportunity to speak to the opposite sex. Instead, he thinks that “words are interesting and conversation is good”.
4、 If there is no official business, but just a gathering of friends, it is better to bring a female companion with you.
This trick was given to me by an “elder” when I first joined the work. I often used it for a long time after that, and it was not satisfactory after a hundred attempts. With a female companion, we can take care of each other and protect each other. Everything is discussed and measured. We will not be lonely and have a sense of security. The topic of a multi person party will also be more broad and the atmosphere will be more relaxed, unlike the conversation between a man and a woman. It is easy to be biased when talking.
5、 If you have official business to talk about and it is not convenient to bring a female companion, you’d better meet in a public place.
Don’t go to the other party’s office. When you get to the other party’s territory, it is inevitable that the other party will be condescending. Their status will be unequal, and it is difficult to have an equal conversation. But don’t go to private places. Never go to his home or let him go to your home. Even if he really looks like a gentleman, don’t create these opportunities that may lead to misunderstanding. Choose an elegant cafe or restaurant, preferably a place you are familiar with, so you can take the initiative and relax mentally.
6、 If two people meet alone, they can wear fashionable and beautiful clothes, but not sexy and enchanting.
Low cut clothes, mini skirts, or clothes that are too thin and transparent are best avoided. If you dress too sexy and emphasize the feminine characteristics too much, you will feel frivolous and indiscreet, which will inevitably make the other party confused and misunderstand that you have other intentions. A man with an unstable will will think: it’s better to push the boat with the current. Even if there is Liu Xiahui, who is calm, why do we have to test others like this?
7、 The expression is friendly but not too charming, and the attitude is sincere but not too intimate.
When dealing with friends of the opposite sex, it is certainly undesirable to be cold as ice, and to refuse people’s attitude of being thousands of miles away. However, being too sweet and charming will also make the other party have beautiful fantasies. Let the other party treat you as a friend rather than a “woman”, and the relationship will be longer and healthier.
8、 Don’t give the other party the chance to say ambiguous words.
It is very important for men and women to control one degree in their communication. If you are a charming, lovely and charming woman, some men will inevitably have some improper thoughts. If he and you are single, he naturally has the qualification to think so. But if you don’t want to become a couple with him, but just want to maintain friendship, try not to let him make ambiguous demands. Because some men of status usually have strong self-esteem, once they are asked to speak out and rejected, they are easy to become angry and their communication will be suspended.
When I felt that he had a tendency to express his feelings, I interrupted him on the grounds of the above restroom and so on. When I came back, I naturally led the direction to another topic. If you accidentally let him say something, don’t refuse forcefully, and make the other party embarrassed. You’d better pretend to be dumb and say with a smile: what are you kidding? Hahahaha. Then I skilfully diverted the topic. If the other party is an interesting person, seeing your attitude, he will never ask for trouble again.
9、 We can’t think that all men are bad, but we can’t naively believe that all men in the world are gentlemen.
If it is found that the other party is indeed an irresponsible lecher, it is very dangerous to associate with him. No matter how intimidated and bribed he is, we will resolutely stop communicating with him.
If men and women do not have the determination to go to marriage together, they must not cross the physical boundary, otherwise they will only come to a dead end and fall apart. The faster they become intimate, the faster they will separate. Some girls are moved and grateful for the kindness of some men, and on impulse, they commit to each other in a muddle headed way.
If it is because of some utilitarian purpose or gratitude, it will always be a heart disease and a shame for girls. In particular, for some men who aim to “hunt for beauty”, they can still maintain a lasting interest before they succeed. Once they succeed, they will lose all their interest, and even their friends will not be able to do it. Girls can neither lose their identity nor achieve their goals. It is really a game of chicken flying with eggs and a game of no avail.
10、 Last but not least, keep a sincere and true heart.
Whether it is pure friendship or some work contact, we should treat each other with a sincere attitude. Don’t cling to the utilitarian purpose and the mentality of “taking advantage” completely. If you need it, you will beg for nothing and drive it away. Once the river crosses, you will tear down the bridge and turn your back on others.
This villain mentality of eager for quick success and instant benefit is doomed to failure whether it treats friends of the opposite sex or friends of the same sex. Even if it takes advantage of it briefly, it will eventually end up alone. China has always attached importance to “feeling and intention”, which is the premise and foundation of all forms of communication. As long as a person with feelings is clumsy, it doesn’t matter. People will see their hearts over time. On the contrary, any skill is useless.
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