[guide]: people are spending more and more time and energy on work. In the era of the Internet, there are various convenient online chat tools to cover it. The office has become the place where people interact most frequently. All these make it difficult to avoid office romance.
workplace ambiguity is a breeding ground for interests and extramarital affairs.
Getting along for at least 8 hours every day gives men and women in the office the time and space base to “grow in love with each other over time”. In mid April, tens of thousands of white-collar workers participated in the “office romance” survey. The results show that 90% of workers have found office romances with colleagues, and nearly 50% said they had such ambiguous experiences; Another 80% of white-collar workers get to know the opposite sex through their colleagues.
office romances are mainly divided into three types:
First, the two sides are unmarried, because they have been in contact for a long time, are close together, and have no channels to know other people, so they grow in love over time. This belongs to normal love between men and women.
Second, one party is single and the other is married. It is mainly formed among colleagues or business contacts. According to Hong Kong’s Ming Pao, a survey by Caritas Hong Kong’s extramarital affairs support service shows that more than 90% of extramarital affairs have the following common characteristics: there is no major emotional rift between husband and wife; The third party is a friend or colleague of the cheating party; It is often difficult to get away from each other’s good will and gradually develop into a love affair.
Third, the relationship between the two is superior and subordinate. Most of these cases involve power and interests. A survey team in the UK conducted a questionnaire survey on 500 women in the financial, newspaper and health care fields. The results are shocking: most British working women are willing to get promoted by flirting in the office.
People are spending more and more time and energy on their work. In the era of the Internet, there are various convenient Internet chat tools to cover it. The office has become the most frequent place to deal with people, which makes it difficult to avoid office romance.
Studies have shown that people’s eyes and actions are the most attractive when they are at work. In a relatively closed, repressed and stressful work space, it is easier to make people confused whether they really have a “feeling of love” for their colleagues or an ambiguous feeling caused by being too familiar with each other.
“I personally don’t think much of office romances.” Gan Luchun said bluntly. The first type of love has little impact on the careers and interpersonal relationships of both parties, and can go far. However, once the relationship is clear, one of the parties should resign voluntarily and at least change a department, which is more suitable for the development of the relationship. “People are social animals. In a very close environment, if you interweave work and life problems, you will confuse public and private affairs. Lovers work in the same office, and intimate relationships will make others feel unsafe, which is not conducive to each other’s career development.” But many times, people are not willing to give up jobs with promising prospects, which adds resistance to the development of relationships.
The latter two types of office romances are extremely destructive and destructive, and will be subject to environmental constraints and public opinion supervision. “In the public’s view, this is a scandal.” Gan Luchun said that in this process, both spiritual needs and physical needs are very dark. Once exposed or the freshness disappears, it will become the trouble of one or both sides, and each other will have to pay a price.
If you become a third party in an office romance, you must break up with determination, otherwise the longer the time, the harder it will be to get out. The best way to break up is to explicitly ask the other party what kind of life you want, and he / she may never give you this life. Secondly, we should deliberately keep a distance to restore the relationship between the two colleagues.
Shirley glass, a psychologist and marriage expert in Baltimore, has been engaged in extramarital affairs research for 27 years. According to her statistics, office romance is the biggest killer of marriage. In order to keep people alert to this painful feeling, glass introduced self-test methods to readers: first, whether they like to talk with a colleague of the opposite sex, or even talk about their own marital misfortunes; 2、 Whether he began to lie to his spouse began to have a little secret; 3、 Whether you have sexual fantasies or physiological reactions to a colleague of the opposite sex. “If you keep thinking about a colleague of the opposite sex nervously while thinking, and compare them one by one, it means that he / she has become inexplicably attractive to you.”
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