Socrates, the great philosopher of ancient Greece, preferred to hide under the tree in Athens to think about philosophy in order to avoid his irascible and blaming wife; Although tulip is a noble Queen, her husband, Napoleon III, often dates a beautiful lady at night to avoid her. Even if you are a queen, you can’t keep the delicate flower of love. Saying things you shouldn’t say hurts not only a man’s self-esteem and confidence, but also his loyalty to marriage.
There are war factors lurking everywhere in the besieged city. One carelessness will lead to quarrels between husband and wife. If one party keeps calm and silent when the other party is excited, it is a sign of tolerance and self-confidence. It’s really a virtue to keep your mouth shut when you shouldn’t speak.
keep your husband’s Secret
A psychologist once said, “the most important thing a wife can do is let her husband confide in her the unhappiness she can’t vent in the office.”
If a husband is not willing to talk to his wife, there are usually two reasons: first, many men think that it is degrading to let his wife worry about his failure in his career. 2、 Although a man would like to share something with his wife, his wife is unwilling to listen, or will publicize what his husband said everywhere.
Agent Piao once expressed his dissatisfaction with an employee of the company with his wife at home. However, within a few days, this matter was widely spread in his company. Agent Park said regretfully, “I should have known for a long time how difficult it is for a woman to keep secrets!”
As long as such things happen several times, or even once, the husband will definitely not talk about things with his wife. Being unable to keep her husband’s secret is destroying her husband’s trust in herself, and even losing the stable family brought about by her trust.
shut up when you should be silent.
Harry and his wife were fishing by the river, and Mrs. Harry was nagging. Soon, a fish got hooked. “Poor fish,” said Mrs. Harry Mr. Harry said, “yes! As long as it shuts up, it will be all right!”
Zhengzai was shopping with his wife when he saw his former neighbor coming with his wife. As a result, the two women chatted endlessly in the street, and the two men had to wait beside him. When he got home, Masayoshi complained, which led to a series of accusations from his wife. At first, Masayoshi would explain, but soon he realized that if he didn’t keep silent, his wife would not spare him. Masayoshi even made up his mind not to argue with his wife any more. He could not argue with her anyway.
I can imagine what the relationship between husband and wife will be like if it goes on like this.
Keeping silent at the right time is a compulsory lesson for women. When beauty reaches a certain point, it must be matched by silence. All kinds of Brilliance will eventually return to blandness, which is the beauty of photographing people.
don’t ask about the past
Wife: “tell me about your first love!”
Husband: “isn’t that you!”
Wife: “isn’t she the class flower of the next class?”
Husband: “nothing!”
Wife: “is she beautiful or am I beautiful?”
Husband: “you.”
Wife: “I don’t believe it. You can just perfunctory me! She is not beautiful. Can you still keep the photos of their class?”
It can be guessed that the last conversation between the couple must end with the wife’s complaint. Married men don’t want to talk about their former lovers. If a wife is smart, she should grasp the present instead of asking about the past.
Mature people don’t ask about the past, smart people don’t ask about the present, and open-minded people don’t ask about the future. People in love should trust rather than suspect, be tolerant rather than demanding.
Since I love you, I should give you a relaxed environment to enjoy my love. Since I love you, I will keep a part of my past and dignity for you, and I will love you with your secrets. It’s no use asking about things in the past. If you think you need to tell me, you will tell it yourself. If you don’t want to tell me, you won’t answer even if I ask you. Maybe you will deceive me with lies. Put your secret in the wind, not in your heart, and we will feel relaxed.
don’t ask if you love me or not.
A friend of my husband said, “at first, my wife asked me if I loved her, and I told her tenderly that I loved her. Later, I answered more times, and I felt perfunctory. I really felt annoyed, but I can’t rush with my wife. It feels like a routine.”
Romance in a woman’s heart is often a nightmare in a man’s mouth. If there is no “I love you!” Women will be in constant panic. And the man who was taught from a young age that he should show masculinity without losing his masculinity has a deep-rooted concept: “it’s very ‘sissy’ to talk about ‘I love you!'” So they prefer to express their love in other ways. Men think that working hard and earning money to support their families is the best proof of love.
Women like sweet talk, but if they want to get a perfunctory answer, they should ask their husbands whether they love each other every day. I have also asked this question, but now I have learned to feel it with my heart.
don’t break his trick.
Zheng Lanzhen’s husband often tells her some jokes, and no matter how many times she hears them, LAN Zhen can always laugh like a flutter. I asked her, how can you smile so happily after hearing it so many times? LAN Zhen said, “he didn’t do that to make me happy!”
Yes, men are always playing some tricks, maybe for the romance of love, maybe to win the favor of their lovers, or maybe to boast to satisfy their self-esteem. At this time, women should not poke it. As long as their lovers are happy and relaxed, it is not difficult to pretend to be stupid and agree with them.
I suddenly remembered my birthday that year. In fact, my friend told me very early that you were preparing a birthday surprise for me, and even told me the details, but I pretended not to know. On your birthday, you went out early and told me that you didn’t have to wait for you to come back for dinner at night. I pretended to be disappointed. Seeing the stoic smile in your eyes, I suddenly felt that even pretending to be stupid was a kind of happiness. You came back before work time in the evening and brought me a big cake. Looking at my shocked appearance, you can’t control your smile. I’m laughing too, but I’ll never tell you why.
don’t be a gossip.
There is such a thing in Europe.
A harmonious village that has been close to each other for hundreds of years has suddenly caused endless troubles in neighborhood relations. The villagers who used to say “good morning” sincerely every time they met now all look at each other angrily. Almost every household has become an enemy.
It turned out that the wife of a policeman who had just moved to the village not long ago was a gossip. All the bad consequences came from her irresponsible whispers. The villagers knew they had been deceived and stopped paying attention to the woman. She soon moved away, but the harmonious relationship between the villagers could not be repaired.
We seldom go back and forth. When it comes to night, we close our doors early and ignore everyone.
Parents in the East and those in the West are short. It seems that if you don’t say anything, you’ll feel uncomfortable. If you don’t hear about other people’s family, you’ll have trouble sleeping and eating. But when you satisfy your curiosity, I always keep one principle in mind: don’t spread words that hurt others. Even if you can’t stop others from saying it, it’s OK to listen to it. You can’t tell others by yourself, because the tongue is the most poisonous in the world.
don’t criticize too much when arguing
I have seen such a story. Two people who have known each other for a long time get married. Their wives are a bit grumpy. Every little thing can become a reason for quarreling. Refuse is not emptied, the door is knocked against the wall when opening the door, and there is a noise when eating… Because we know each other very well, the wife blames her husband without hesitation when arguing. A year has passed, and her family’s life has not changed at all. It’s just that the husband and wife eat less and less together, and they don’t quarrel or talk any more. It’s like a train that has turned off, running farther and farther.
“I’m unlucky to marry you. You’re always so unpromising!” “You never consider my feelings. You only care about yourself.” “Why is my life so hard? I’ll marry you, you fool.” This is what my wife often says. John Gutman, Ph.D., the author of the seven principles for a happy marriage, believes that “contempt will accelerate the collapse of marriage.” When a wife looks down on her husband psychologically and says things that hurt him regardless of his feelings, love will come to an end.
don’t expose each other’s shortcomings
Peber Schwartz, Ph.D., Professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle, USA and author of “love is equal: how to really make marriage equal”, pointed out that if you use words like “always” or “never”, your husband “can’t have a normal conversation with you at this moment”.
I once heard that after a quarrel with his wife, a husband in Gyeongsang North Road never said a word to his wife for 12 years, because his wife scolded him for “you man who grew up in the garbage heap”. His wife’s remark hurt his pride. The sensible child and the old man thought of many ways to make them reconcile, but to no avail. His wife regretted this sentence. She thought that it was not because of how big things they argued. If she had been calm, she would not have said that.
Dr. Heyward Markman, Ph.D., Professor of psychology at the University of Denver and author of the book “fighting for marriage: the law of avoiding divorce and making love last”, believes that “usually, the biggest complaint of a wife to her husband is that they don’t tell you anything at all; but the most consistent view of husbands is that saying too much will cause disputes.” Therefore, he suggested: “if you want your husband to not only listen to you but also communicate with you more, you should always be calm.”
never say divorce
Many couples will say loudly when they quarrel: “I can’t live this day any longer, divorce!” In fact, most people don’t want to divorce when they say this. It’s just an angry word. However, unfortunately, some people made a muddled decision after saying this muddle headed remark in anger. They really went through divorce procedures in anger and regretted it only after divorce.
I know a couple. When they first got married, the wife would shout for divorce as soon as she was dissatisfied. The husband would run over and admit his mistakes. So the wife said that the frequency of divorce was increasing. In fact, she just wanted to make the husband bow his head. She didn’t really want to divorce. A few years later, the wife mentioned the word “divorce” again in a big uproar. Unexpectedly, the husband stood up and said, “then leave. I’m too tired.” The wife was dumbfounded.
Don’t underestimate these two words, they can hurt people for a lifetime. Not only the husband and wife but also the children were hurt. Marriage should be maintained and protected with love. If there are no contradictions in family life that must be sacrificed, let alone divorce.
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