Loser’s voice: why infatuated men can’t rival promiscuous men

letter from netizen:

As a 28 year old man, my problem now is that it may not be easy to change into a brand-new self, but at this moment, I will find that I seem to only use my kindness to others. When looking for a girlfriend, people will feel that you are really good, but they will not marry you in the end. The last thing a girl said to me was “thank you for your company, help and happiness in these days. I will be grateful to you in this life, but don’t say it again in the future”… At that time, I felt only the pain of being broken off in my heart. How painful!

Maybe, I don’t have a house, a car or a deposit, but compared with some other people, it is certain that my own quality or conditions are much better than theirs, not to mention that I am an undergraduate and my appearance is also good. But every time I see such other people, I will feel more sigh and desolation in my heart: I envy their love, and I envy their struggle to live together in a single room with a shared bathroom. We can also see that some men who often go to the bar, sauna and other places to find ladies for entertainment can also have a girlfriend who is very good to him.

Maybe the fate of God has not yet come, maybe her own really hasn’t appeared! But I am also a 28 year old now, and my personality is relatively extroverted. I can also find topics and laughter among friends, classmates or customers. Similarly, it is not the time to be in high spirits and in the mood for love. In the face of a relationship, I also hope to take the initiative to cherish and grasp it, but… The results are often the opposite.

From reading to now, I have always said that my destiny is in my hands, and my future depends on my choice and hard work.

Now I can only say that I didn’t work hard enough, didn’t seize the opportunity I chose, and lost a lot of opportunities for success. The environment given to me from my childhood is also very good. Although my parents are in the countryside, their feelings are very good! But there is something I don’t understand from it. Does she really come to me who is blocking me? Is it true that my EQ is zero in this?

Su Qinhui reply :

Recently, a popular title – “loser youth”.

It refers to those young men who were born in a small city and finally settled in the metropolis through hard study in a cold window, but after employment, they actually feel the helpless gap between ideal and reality.

Losers have his optimistic side. They know how to laugh at themselves and how to entertain themselves in hard times. But at the same time, there is also their weakness, that is, they always have too high expectations for their future, but they just lack a little fortitude to fight to the end. So around us, many loser men are always commenting on all kinds of realities and helplessness, and sometimes they will be cynical like seeing through the world. When you suggest them: “OK. To win, come on! Overcome all difficulties and rush to the end!”

They often flinch.

Because such a group of men always have a little inferiority complex in their hearts. Because of their origins, status quo and environment, they are always lacking in confidence. Once they encounter practical problems, they will naturally retreat habitually, because this is also their habitual self-protection.

Just like what you said in your letter, when girls break up with you, they will say “thank you” to you, thank you for your company and help, and they will sincerely think that you are a good person. But do you think, which young girl would only like a good man?

love has two aspects Inner content: giving and taking

For some people, I will encourage them to know how to “give”, to give their love and care to each other.

But for you, a loser man in general, I hope you can understand “taking”. You must find a way to let the girl you love give, because in a love, whoever gives more will be more reluctant to let go.

However, most loser men don’t dare to “ask for”, which is still attributed to one point: they are not confident enough. For fear that a trifle will annoy the other party. However, the more so, the more tasteless the opposite sex will feel.

There are many men in the world who have no money or house. Most of them can still find a girl who is willing to share a small single room with them. But the premise is that those girls can find confidence in the future from those men. Even if money can’t tell the whole story, a man with a plan for the future and an ambition for life can still add points to himself to a great extent.

And your bachelor’s degree and appearance are not bad. Maybe this is your advantage. But for a 28 year old man, you are not more competitive than others. More importantly, after reading so many of your thoughts, I also believe that your requirements for your other half must be quite high.

Looking around, anyone who always feels that he cannot meet true love must raise the threshold of love quite high. For an ordinary person, talking about a plain love may be a warmer feeling.

Of course, the premise is that you should admit from the bottom of your heart that you are just an ordinary person.

It may not be easy for a 28 year old. But if you don’t lower your sight, you will never see the happiness around you.

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